Reality Ranker

Alright, I’ve been quite slow with the Top Chef Just Desserts power ranking. I confess. I thought I had a magical skill, and then it seemed to slip through my fingers. I’ve been a bit reticent to go picking winners lately. Since this show is definitely getting more competitive and the weak have been separated from the strong, I will try to give it a shot.

8. Carlos Enriquez

With the last episode, he seems like he’s stuck in a rut.

7. Rebecca Mason

Yes, she’s from Houston, and that’s wonderful. If she had a store, I would totally go. I just feel that she’s literally too fragile for the competition. Her body and spirit keeps breaking.

6. Megan Ketover

She hasn’t won a competition. In other words, she’s skating by.

5. Orlando Santos

He has a massive ego, but like most contestants with ego issues, he rarely delivers.

4. Sally Camacho

I don’t see her winning, but she’s going to make it close to the end.

3. Matthew Peterson

He started strong and seems to be going through what might be a hiccup. If he can get past it, he’ll make it till the end.

2. Katzie Guy-Hamilton

She just keeps getting better.

1. Chris Hanmer

He also didn’t perform well in the last competition, but he has been a solid contender throughout. Good luck Chris!!

[Photo Credit: BravoTV]

There’s one episode left and I guess I have to predict who the finalist will be. Honestly, this is a difficult one to pick because there is a dominate favorite, who is also evil. There’s a woman on the rise. Finally, there’s a gifted chef who has lost his mojo. I will forge on anyway, though.

3. Yigit Pura

He started strong, but now he’s a bit of a wreck. He does way too much and can’t deliver on all of his elaborate plans. There’s a chance that he might finally bring it all together, but he seems to have lost his confidence.

2. Danielle Keene

In the beginning, she absolutely annoyed me. With her weird facial expressions and her complete lack of talent, she stayed in the competition because others sucked more than she did. But then the light bulb turned on and she started to do well. Congrats to Danielle for the last win! I hope she can take the evil Morgan down.

1. Morgan Wilson

He’s a walking stereotype. He’s in a field dominated by women and preferred by gay males and not at all stereotypically manly. Thus, he has to constantly prove to all of us ALL THE TIME that he’s a masculine man. “I have a son. My sperm are strong and make males. I’m a man. I was married to a woman. I’m a man. I don’t sing show tunes like these gay men around me. I’m a man. I throw hissy fits and beat things. I’m a man. I’m afraid that the gay men are going to destroy my work or make me gay. No, I’m a man.” Yes, we understand Morgan. You’re straight and have a lady’s shoe fetish. Good for you. Now, I hope you don’t win, but I’m afraid you will.

Silly me! I watched this show two days ago. I didn’t take notes, like a good reality blogger, and then I deleted the complete episode. This leaves me in a conundrum. After two days, I might be able to visually recognize a couple of those sweet-fingered chefs, but the majority will be no-named goobers sporting chef jackets. Thus, I thought I would have fun with this ranking. I can remember my favorite glittery gay, but the rest are lost in a haze of confectioner’s sugar. This will cause me to do an experiment. I will rank them based on their photos and random remembrances and later in a few weeks, when there are less cheftestants, I’ll do a new ranking. I’ll compare and see how many of my completely baseless predictions holdup.

11. Danielle Keene

Of course, this girly has to go at the bottom. She insulted Zac’s dessert with her pointless comments based on her untrained glitter-hating palette. You’re going down.

10. Eric Wolitzky

This guy kind of scares me. Who could imagine that serious, emotionless bakers would be scary? Trust me they are.

9. Yigit Pura

He’s got great hair and seems to definitely be influenced by Johnny Iuzinni. I’m not sure if it’s smart to brown nose to that extent, though.

8. Heather Chittum

Uhhhh….no opinion….

7. Malika Ameen

She saved herself after her failed quickfire showing. Can she keep doing that?

6. Morgan Wilson

His face seems to be saying. I’m better than all of these people and I will bake circles around them. With all of that cockiness just from his picture alone, I say he won’t stay in the game for the long haul.

5. Erica Davis

She looks nice. Other than that, I can’t remember anything else. Sorry Erika.

4. Seth Caro

This insomniac could be a whiny, talented cheftestant that brings the drama. I say bring it.

3. Tim Nugent

If my memory is accurate, he deemed himself the snow queen?? I like the wide-eyed look of innocence and love that he works with ice cream. He’s my kind of man.

2. Heather Hurlbert

This girl is all about technique, and I hope that she can marry that with creative skills. If so, she’ll go far and my random prediction will bear out.

1. Zac Young

I don’t care that he blew on his decadent chocolate dessert. What I respect is that he blew glitter on that decadent chocolate dessert, making it simply wonderful. I’m glad he understands that glitter makes everything better.