Reality Ranker

What New Shows Will I Skewer??

This is one of those strange posts where I will attempt to get some feedback from my audience. Many of the shows that I’ve been seemingly, endlessly watching are coming to an end: Frank the Entertainer, Tool Academy, Shear Genius, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Millionaire Matchmaker. Thus, I need some ideas for new shows. I’ll immediately start watching Top Chef Masters when it aires in April, along with Tough Love Couples, but I NEED MORE. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

Also, for those on Facebook, I’ve begun a page for Reality Ranker. I’m having a bit of an issue setting up a link on this blog, so if you want to show your love find me on fb.

On this week’s Tool Academy, the tools and their mates have to face their friends and family. The tool-mates have to show their loved ones how pathetic they are to stay with their tool. Similarly, the tools have to show their family the levels of their toolitude. In addition, as in previous seasons of Tool Academy, the tools and toolmates have to take care of a “baby.” It’s interesting this year that the tools did not get fetal pigs, but were stuck with plastic babies. Are they tools to heinous to be trusted with animals? This week there will be double list: ranking the lack of guilt shown in front of the parents and the parenting skills of the tools.

Lack of Guilt

3. Jacob Tapia

This Week's Angel

What has happened this week? I mean seriously Jacob broke down and cried. Were my eyes deceiving me? Since hell has frozen over, Jacob has become the front runner on the show. When he cried, he finally showed that he regrets what he has become. I guess good job?

2.Angelo Giannakos

Teary Tool did not disappoint and let the water works begin even before his horrid video was shown. His poor parents, their lack of English hurts their ability to communicate with Angelo. If he speaks Greek, he sure wasn’t helping them understand. He did his usual crying, but it’s starting to be unclear if all of the crying is just an act.

1. Jennavecia Russo

Actual MySpace Caption: Bend over BITCH...Take it like a MAN!

WOW! I can’t believe that this woman has not changed one bit. In previous episodes, she seemed to be maturing, but based on her behavior with her brothel-owning mother, she hasn’t. Instead of facing her problems, she and her family chose to laugh it all off. I like to cheat-hahahaha! Then, why are you even trying at Tool Academy? It was just perplexing.

Best Parents

3. Jennavecia

She is a model of a mother. Petty jealousy over who can take care of a fake baby makes perfect sense. Acting like a fool, cussing, and fighting around your baby are all the things I want to do as a mother. Thank you Jennavecia for your high standards.

2. Angelo

While not as bad, he and Dayna also engaged in bad behavior around their child. Throwing plates is not the best thing to do while holding a baby.

1. Jacob

Again, I’m awestruck, dumbfounded, and I can’t write any more words that can express my shock over this transformation. The winner at this point seems to be a done deal.

Special Note about the ousted Jennavecia: After poking around on the internet, I saw that this is her 2nd reality show.I’m surprised I hadn’t noticed it before. She was on Bad Girls Club 2 with Tanisha Thomas, who is now on Celebrity Fit Club. I’m always intrigued about the crossover reality TV star phenomenon. On the major networks like ABC, crossover is seen as a good thing, but on the cable shows, it is rarely mentioned, unless like Tanisha another show has made you a “celebrity.” One last note, Kyle is a pathetic excuse for a man. That was one of the worst “get in the limo” scenes that I have seen this season. UGH!!

Tonight’s Tool Academy was about trust. It brought us (say in a deep voice) “The Human Lie Detector Test.” She wonderfully revealed the lies that are still spewing from some of the remaining 4 tools’ mouths. Now, I’m not sure if the human lie detector is more effective than the machine, but it nicely switches up the cliched lie detector episode. Too bad that I forgot to write about that one in yesterday’s post.

Before “The Human Lie Detector Test,” the tool’s discussion about the test was pretty amusing. All of them were scared. If you don’t have anything to hide, then there should not be any fears. These tools were shaking in their boots. It was great to see stupid Kevin try to figure out how he was going to lie. Squirm Kevin squirm!

The Worst Liars are:

3. Kevin Craft and Angelo Giannakos

Obviously, these guys do not qualify as the worst liars. It was hilarious to see Dayna hug Angelo after finding out that he had not slept with any of her friends. Good Job Angelo!! Not using condoms and banging random women became acceptable. As for Kevin, despite the editing that made it look like he was going to lie, he finally revealed his infidelity to his wife. I can’t believe he was eliminated. Ughh!! That was the wrong choice. It means I have to go another week watching Jacob.

2. Jennavecia Russo

Her lie seemed pretty minor. Many women would say that they enjoy their sex lives, even though there might be issues. It’s understandable that she felt uncomfortable revealing a sexual problem to Kyle.

1. Jacob

After his pathetic performance, he should be called Compulsive Liar Tool. His comment, “I’m so thankful the truth came out,” was pretty hilarious, since he lied through most of “The Human Lie Detector Test.” His little lies show so much about him. Jacob  is not there to really change. He’s there to play the game, which he’s not even good at doing. He’s so lucky that he hasn’t been eliminated yet.

—Special News—

For the finale, Rachel, the girlfriend of Jordan the Boy Band Tool will be co-writing a blog post with me. Rachel and I will be giving various awards to the tools and their girlfriends. Keep checking back to read this exciting post.

“Tool Academy” was so much fun last spring, never had so much douchebagery been assembled on one show. This fall the second installment has gone further. Tonight’s episode, the quintessential lie detector episode seen last season and on VH-1 dating shows revealed just how bad some of the men are. Enough with the writing and on with the ranking.

4. Charm and Andrea–Not only does he disgust me in so many ways: his outrageous ego, philandering (more than 10 women), and trash talking, but his bottom lip is way too big and too pink for his face. It was clear from the preview that he will be the first tool to storm out of the academy. Please Charm storm away and don’t grace us with your ug presence again.

3. Terry “T-Shaw” and Nicole–Wow he has got some issues. Boyfriends who sleep with your friends should definitely get the boot. I hope when he is eliminated, she makes the right choice and gets in the limousine by herself.

2. Stew and Amanda–In a way, Stew and Amanda are the country version of last spring’s winners. Tonight, he talked about his dream of buying a multitude of used trailer homes, renovating, and reselling them. What’s sad is that I actually considered that a good idea. I don’t think that they will win it all, but he hopefully has made some changes.

1. Tyler and Shea–The couple, 22 and 21 respectively, will probably end up going all the way. Considering their age, I hope that there is not a repeat of last season’s wedding with harpoons. Considering the magnitude of toolness this season, the TV wedding ender should be banned.

[polldaddy poll=2138093]

Who will win Tool Academy?
(polls)