Reality Ranker

I hope that pre-teen waxing is the new trend.

Catching up on hours of reality TV is hard work. I’m almost there, though. On to Toddlers & Tiaras, the stars at night are big and bright [clap, clap, clap] Deep in the heart of Texas. Yes, T&T went down to Texas, Center, Texas. I’ve actually driven through there a few times. What can I say about Center….hmmmm….Well, it sure ain’t in the center of Texas. Because Center, TX is known for its brutal winters where it might freeze a couple of times, pageant director Tonya Bailey decided to name her pageant Winter Beauties. This episode focused on Brooklyn (10) and her mother Brandy, Kayleigh (3) and her mother Jessica, and Brittannie (9) and her mother Randie. For this episode, I’d like to focus on some of the quotes, and boy were some of them good. Let’s get started.

5. Jessica: “Get up…no strawberry shortcake….get up”

Being a fussy 3 yr. old, Kayleigh decides on stage that she won’t do her talent routine. Her mother Jessica becomes concerned and uses her wonderful technique of manipulation. Surprise, Surprise. It doesn’t work.

4. Brandy: “It’s amazing when you get all that hair off of your face what you look like.”

After having Brooklyn’s eyebrows waxed, Brandy responds with the above comment. A) It’s shocking that a 10 yr. old’s eyebrows were waxed. B) Why can’t a 10 yr. old have bushy eyebrows like a 10 yr. old does? Why can’t these women focus on their own body and beauty care and less on their child’s?

3. Danny: “Wouldn’t it be easier to put her finger in a light socket?”

After seeing his daughter, Brooklyn, get her pageant hair styled, Danny utters one of his wonderful truth rockets. I agree with you Danny. Pageant hair is big, freaky, and ultra tacky.

2. Randie: “Brittannie doesn’t take a bad picture. I can’t wait to see them retouched.”

Is it just me or does that statement not make sense? I guess good pictures need to be retouched.

1. Danny: “I don’t like the way she looks. She looks too old.”

Thank you Danny! Now, why don’t you go home and have a serious talk with your wife about how you would like your 10 yr. old to look her age rather than a way too tan high schooler? I know what the pageant world should do next. They should persuade the girls to wear falsies. It would make them look more mature.